These are a collection of Six Sigma humor from various sources. Though described as a joke, the morals are plain facts.
Humor based Fact #1:
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a flashy car advanced out of the dust towards him. The driver, a young man in an expensive suit, classy shoes, and a professional tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his flock and calmly answered “Sure”.
The guy parked his car, took out his notebook and connected it to the internet, the surfed to a NASA page on the net, where he called up a GPS navigation system, scanned the area, then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he printed up a 150-page report on his hi-tech miniature printer, turned to the shepherd and said, “You have exactly 1586 sheep.”
“That’s correct, take one of the sheep.” Said the shepherd. He watched the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.
Then the shepherd says: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?” “Ok, why not” answered the young man.
“Clearly you are a Six Sigma Black Belt.” Said the shepherd. “That’s correct, but how did you guess that.” Said the guy
“No guessing required,” answered the shepherd. “ You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don’t know crap about my business. Now give me back my dog.”
Humor Fact #2 :
57% of quoted statistics are just made up on the spot.
Humor Fact #3 :
By the way, if I´ve put one hand into a Zero Celsius degree crunched iced pail and the other hand into a Fifty Celsius degree hot water bowl, then in the average I´m enjoying a mild 25 Celsius degree hands bath. And Six Sigma / any other methodology works on such assumptions.
Humor Fact #4:
Q: How many Black Belts does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn’t matter. By the time the team completed the Cpk, CTQ, R&R, QFD, DOE, 5S and SPC, it was daytime again and the customer wouldn’t need the light bulb any more.
Humor Fact #5:
Q: A forensics expert walks into a room with a bunch of dead Six Sigma Black Belts who show no visible signs of injury. What’s the first thing he should check for?
A: Poisson distribution.
Humor Fact #6:
Q: What type of control chart do you use for tracking medical testing that uses urine samples?
A: p Chart.